2am thoughts

Why do the most profound thoughts seems to rush to my brain right before I rest my head down to sleep?



I lie in bed wondering if I'm heading in the right direction. Am i taking the necessary steps to achieve the goals I have mentally embedded in my head? Is it normal to not be certain what I want to do the rest of my life? A piece of me wants to just pick up all my things and leave to an unannounced destination, somewhere where no one knows my name; the loneliness, however, would most likely be unbearable for a person of my nature. My goal in life is to join the Peace Corp. to help better the lives of other people, I want to help better someones life. However, will I ever be mentally capable of achieving such a huge goal? Secondly, I want to get a taste of different cultures, and travel around America meeting new people with different prespectives, and ideal about happening in society. I have two goals which entail such strain to change my current life, to sculpt it into something way more productive. Some days I am able to cope with my thought and start making changes in my life direct my path where I want it. Moreover, I then lapse and give in to the personal need of wanting to go out all the time, and lose focus of what I want. Is this an ongoing cycle, or will i be able to step out of my rut?